A fact describes an event. An interpretation describes its meaning
A fact can be: “they did not reply for two days,” “my manager moved the deadline,” or “my friends met without me.” An interpretation can be: “they are ignoring me,” “my manager wants to fire me,” or “they are deliberately excluding me.” An interpretation may turn out to be correct, but at the beginning it is still a hypothesis.
Why the brain mixes the two
When a situation is emotional, the brain tries to explain it quickly. That is useful because it supports fast decisions, but there is a cost: the first explanation can start to feel like a proven fact. The more we care about a relationship or outcome, the easier it is for one signal to become evidence for an entire story.
A simple three-column test
The third column is not about excusing everything. It is a way to check whether you actually have enough information to rule out other explanations.
Do not ignore patterns
Separating facts from interpretations does not mean ignoring repeated behaviour. If the same problem happens regularly, nothing changes after clear conversations and somebody repeatedly crosses stated boundaries, the pattern itself becomes an important fact. At that point the useful question may be about the repeated pattern rather than one event.
How to use this in a conversation
Instead of “you do this because you do not respect me,” try: “we agreed on a time three times and each time I learned about the change afterwards. I am reading that as my time not being considered. Is there another explanation, and what can we agree on for next time?”. You still name the impact while giving the other person a chance to respond to the actual events.
How to use this on TellJar
Write two or three facts first, then your interpretation, then your question. That structure gives readers a chance to respond both to your feelings and to alternative explanations. Replies that say “this definitely means X” without enough evidence are worth treating cautiously.