Choose one current problem
If every old conflict enters the same conversation, nobody can respond clearly. Pick one behaviour that is affecting you now. Describe what happens, how often and what effect it has.
A boundary does not need unanimous approval
You can decide which topics you will discuss, when you need privacy or when you will end a hostile conversation. Other people may dislike the boundary; that does not make it meaningless.
Good intentions and harmful pressure can exist together
A relative can believe they are helping and still create pressure through constant comparison, monitoring or criticism. You can acknowledge the intention and still explain the impact.
Know when another conversation is not the answer
If attempts to talk repeatedly lead to humiliation, threats or violence, the priority shifts from finding the perfect words to getting support and staying safe. That may mean a trusted adult, counsellor, mediator or local service.
Protect privacy in an anonymous post
Explain the relationship and behaviour without names, exact locations, schools, employers or identifiable screenshots. Enough context for advice does not require identifying the family.
Common questions
Is setting boundaries with family selfish?
Not by itself. A boundary describes how you are willing to participate in a relationship. It works best when it is clear and not designed as punishment.
What if I live with the people involved?
Use smaller, practical boundaries and build outside support. If the situation becomes unsafe, seek help from a trusted person or appropriate local service.